Taking on a new role

Elsa and Jude almost three years ago in their favourite cafe



Jude is having a fantastic week, he’s settled and calm and one of his beloved Support Workers has today returned from a holiday. I called him this evening and we chatted for a world record breaking twelve minutes! I then chatted to his Support Worker for a while which was absolutely lovely. She’s so sweet and adores Jude.


Whilst we were having our chat about this upcoming weekend stay at home, Elsa asked me something and Jude heard her voice.

“Is that Elsa?” he asked.

“Yes, do you want to talk to her?”



And so they chatted for a few minutes, all very Jude led of course but still chatting nonetheless. Elsa played the game. I heard her say

“Yes Jude, mummy’s coming to get you on Friday”

“Yes, you’ll be home for dinner.”

“No, we don’t have to go out.”

“Yes, I’m sure mum will make lasagne”

“Yes, two nights.” (He always asks how many nights he staying places.)


*And repeat*


It was adorable. She took on that role of placating Jude, building up his confidence through conversation whilst warmly ensuring he felt at ease. She loves him and is unconsciously becoming the older sibling. Of course she already behaves like the older sibling but she’s grown up a lot recently and is starting to comprehend why it is important to contain Jude’s emotions, respond to his warning signals and attempt to make his life as insouciant and care-free as possible.

What I’m trying to say is, at the age of eight years and forty nine weeks of age, Elsa is emotionally recognising her role as the eldest child.



The best photo of Elsa ever in the whole world. Aged five and sulking because she accidentally fell off a chair a a photography shoot!


It’s quite mind-blowing to regard as a parent. One child overtaking the other. Not just in cognitive ability but in responsibility and consciousness. ¬†She is very much a deep thinking and I know when her mind is whirring away because she has a certain look on her face. Often, when Jude has had a melt down, she goes into thoughtful mode and I’d love to have the chance to see what she’s thinking. ¬†Occasionally, she has shared a random thought of what we could do to Jude’s bedroom or a book she thinks Jude would like and this shows me that she is mindful of Jude’s needs and wants him to be as comfortable as possible. I hate her having this on her shoulders but in many ways it allows her to develop a level of empathy of which most children her age have no perception.


But yes, I wanted to share my phone call moment as it felt very pivotal in our universal movements. Elsa is a special, special girl and moments like this really make me contemplative of how she may be with Jude when they’re both adults.


Best buds. Elsa and Emmeline a year ago.



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