I promised myself I’d post something positive for once – but wanting to stay on ‘theme’ of supporting a young person into adult services, this is a very difficult task.
In a nutshell, this is not working. Nothing. Nada. Nilch.
So I find myself back in the ring, battling for what is best for Jude.
I’m physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Leading me to the question again of – what support is out there for parents like me? Particularly those who don’t have a network around them. For what I can see, there’s nothing.
I’d start something myself, but I don’t know where to begin.
So as an update, Jude is not happy. No-one is listening to me. No-one has ever listened to me in the last two months and four days and shock horror, we’ve hit a wall.
Who could see that one coming?!
So now I’m having to shout a little louder and be a little blunter with every conversation. We’re probably only a few conversations away from me completely losing my shizz and unleashing the real honest thoughts.
Nothing much else to report today. Sorry for the negativity.
I guess the message of today is a little reminder that if your gut feeling is that something isn’t right, don’t ignore it. If you’re the parent of a young person moving into adult care, remember that you’re their voice so don’t be afraid to use it.
They can’t. And if they do, people generally won’t listen to them either.
Their world is moulded by the choices we make for them. I love and hate this in equal measures.
For me, there’s always a better option. More things we can offer. But as long as you feel it’s offering your young person the best life, and boosting their wellbeing, then you’re onto a winner. If this isn’t the feeling you get – jump back on the roundabout and start shouting.
I’m here too. Waving my little flag and stamping my feet til I get my own way for Jude. Nothing but the best is good enough for wee Judith.
Actual Useful Advice
But don’t be like me…waving your flag and stamping your feet only goes so far. Here are some more advisable and useful tips.
- Expect Change: Adult services work differently – more independence, less hand-holding. But that doesn’t mean standards should drop.
- Keep Records: Note names, dates, and decisions – you need evidence if issues arise.
- Know Your Rights: Ask for policies, assessments, and reasonable adjustments to show you’re being reasonable and ‘solution focused’.
- Find a Key Contact: If you don’t have a social worker, request a transition lead or named worker to guide you.
- Stay Person-Centred: Keep focus on your young person’s needs, not the system’s process. What’s best for their wellbeing?
- Use Support Networks: Connect with local parent forums or national charities. Strength in numbers and all that.
- Raise Concerns Clearly: Be polite but firm – explain what’s wrong, why, and what you ultimately want.
- Escalate if Needed: Contact your MP, Healthwatch, or request an advocate.
- Notice Small Wins: Acknowledge progress – even the tiniest of movements. Honestly, it helps, even if you know the whole situation is wrong.
- Look After Yourself: Take breaks and seek support (not that I’ve found anything formal!) you can’t pour from an empty cup. Friends, neighbours, family – talk to people. Go to the gym. Have a walk and a coffee. Be kind to yourself.
