I’m not sure why I’m exposing myself again so broadly following my personal weekly chip (and salad) admission. But here goes…Clumsiness.


I’m clumsy. As in, stupid clumsy. I’ll give you some examples:


Once, I was standing by the driver side of my car chatting over the roof to a friend who was getting out the passenger door. I was stood perfectly still, like a normal person would when talking to someone. I went to take a step back so I could close my door and I fell, indubitably like a domino splat on the floor. I hadn’t realised but I’d been standing on my own foot so couldn’t correct my overbalancing. From her side, it must have looked hilarious. Thankfully, this wasn’t witnessed by anyone else.


There was the time I was hurrying down the stairs to the underground and my heel became lodged in the turn up of my jeans, I flew uncontainable and gracelessly into a sea of horrified commuters. The pain of the fall was masked entirely by the embarrassment of the situation. Oh god, I can still feel the shame now.


I’ve walked into doors that I thought were automatic. Many, many times.


I’ve burnt myself sooooo often, it’s now almost unusual for me not to be harbouring any marks on my hands or arms. The last time was from taking a pudding out the oven and I ended up having to hold an ice pack for around two hours, the burn was so bad.


At least once a week I throw a cup of tea down myself. It’s as if I’ve forgotten where my mouth is. Here’s the action:

  • Lift up tea cup
  • Slowly arc the cup towards mouth.
  • Go to put cup to mouth and tip simultaneously however…
  • Miss mouth by a centimetre resulting in tea spillage all down my front.


I have bruises on my legs that look like I’ve been beaten. I have no idea how they appeared. I think I walk into things so frequently that it now doesn’t even register any form of recognition in my head.


A few weeks ago, I bent over to pick something up and head butted the kitchen work surface so hard I grazed and bruised the top of my head.


The amount of times I’ve crisped my ears when using hair straighteners is innumerable. I’m surprised Joe even lets me near them anymore.


I poked myself in the eye with a pencil a few months ago to the extent where I had to stop what I was doing to bathe it until I could see properly again.


I walk into door frames on a daily basis. Bearing in mind, I’m not a big person, it amazes even me that I can’t make it through that wide gap unscathed.


One of my best friends isn’t much better, in fact she’s worse! A couple of years ago, she fell over in the street (walked into a notice board actually!) and had to be helped up by an old lady with a zimmer frame haha

And when we first met, she spilt red wine on my BRAND NEW cream carpet. Remember that one? You know who you are…


Let’s stop there, eh? I could go on for hours…


So why am I clumsy?


I’ve looked into the science as to why some people have more accidents than others and it appears we are born with it. It’s to do with distractions, bad coordination, reaction times and cognitive processing.


I read a study undertaken in the US that looked at 1500 student athletes. They were asked to participate in neurological and cognitive tests such as a colour matching activity where they had to click on the word red when it appeared in red and not when it appeared in any other colour – this measured processing speed within the brain as well as reaction times.


Basically in a nutshell, the athletes that sustained the most non-contact injuries that season were the ones with the worse test results. This indicates that their coordination, processing time and reaction time is less superior than the others. It also explained that they have lower visual memory scores thus explaining why I never learn my lesson when it comes to injuring myself!!


Overall, clumsiness is largely to do with being distracted. So if you’re unable to block out localised distractions or manage several things at once then you are likely to forget the details of your environment and walk into something/stab yourself/trip over/get tangled in something.


So go get your eyes tested, slow down, stress a bit less, take on one task at a time and stop interrupting the conversations your brain and muscles are having and you may find you lessen the chances of distracting yourself.







One Response

  1. tammymum 03/02/2017

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