We’ve always been pretty fortunate with food and appetites in this house but it makes me chuckle when you hear a child come out with a cracking reason why they can’t possibly eat their dinner. As toddlers, Jude went through a phase of refusing anything except beans on toast. He couldn’t talk at the time but would flat out starve unless I produced beans on toast for dinner. This didn’t last too long and overall, he’d eat anything I gave him.
Elsa was a proper chubber of a baby/toddler and had cheeks like a puffer fish but thankfully she loved (and still loves) fruit and vegetables so I never worried about her diet. Same with Jude and Emmeline – I seem to produce children that are part fruit bat in nature.
Elsa and Jude aged 2 and 5 munching some pineapple
Emmeline was a terrible eater for a long time but now she is nearly two, she seems to have found an appetite at last. Yay!
Anyway, I thought it would be funny to compile a list of fantastic reasons children have given for not being able to eat their lunch/dinner. Thanks to everyone who contributed to this:
We’ll start off with Elsa as I can’t think of any excuses Jude ever gave and Emmeline isn’t quite at the excuse stage. Sadly, this example was from this year. Yes, Elsa was eight years old when she said she couldn’t eat her cheese toastie (from a cafe) as it was “too cheesy”. I think that was the last time she ever ordered one; she hates the stuff now!
- The old classic that every parent can relate to of, offering the wrong coloured plate/bowl/cup/spoon was suggested several times. Arrgghhh Emmeline gets a bit like this some times. She changes each day as to which colour bowl she wants her fruit in.
- “The cheese is the wrong colour. It’s got dirt on it.” (i.e it’s been browned in the oven) How do you even argue with this one?!
- “My legs are full up but my yoghurt will go in my belly.” This at least divulges the hollow leg theory of childhood!
- “I’m saving myself so I have room for pudding.” I have to agree with this one in theory. Saving room for pudding is essential, especially in restaurants.
Then there are the children who try to be smart with their tactics…
- “I can’t eat broccoli as it looks like a tree and you told us not to eat leaves and trees.”
- “I’m fine. I don’t need to eat my venjtables as I don’t have any germs inside me.”
- If a child is aware of an allergy like one little smarty pants who refuses to eat anything he doesn’t like the look of in case it has dairy in.
- When they out-do you entirely such as…
“If you eat these runner beans then they’ll make you run faster.”
“Oh but I don’t need to eat my runner beans, my new trainers make me run super fast already.”
We mustn’t forget the weird phenomenon that soooo many children are afflicted with. That phobia of TOUCHING FOOD…sorry, I mean TOUCHINGFOOD.
“I can’t eat it, it’s touching!” Good grief…
- Ever had the feigned illness excuse? “I can’t eat this, I have a headache.”
- Or…“I’m too tired.” Naturally, tiredness is always cured two seconds later when you allow them out to play again.
- “I’m too hot.” Most likely angling for an ice cream instead.
Using a third party as an excuse…
- “Bunny doesn’t want to eat it so I can’t eat it either.” I’m sorry, what? No idea how you even come back from this one without looking like an idiot.
- Another classic of palming food off onto your sibling – “Oh no, it’s babi’s (sisters.) She’s very hungry!”
- “I can’t eat it because Mylo isn’t eating it.” (brother)
“It’s too spikey.” (Spicy)
“It’s too fizzy.” (Spicy!)
This is also a typical one from Elsa. She doesn’t like spicy food and even now at the age of eight will only use one type of toothpaste because all the others are apparently spicy. Ridiculous.
To the completely obscure…
- “The spiders have taken it!”
- “My spoon is too cold!”
- “I’ve got a snotty nose.”
Oh to have a child’s imagination for just a short while!
I’ve saved my favourite for last, you’ll probably guess why when you read it.
- “I can’t eat animals because they all have hearts and I don’t want anyone to eat my heart.” I need to adopt this child into my family right now.
I would love to hear any corkers from your household.
Thank you to the following:
Rebecca from Becster.com
Victoria from Mummy times two
Jade from Raw Childhood
Rebecca from Becster.com
Jodie from Maidenhead Mum
Amy from The Smallest of Things
Lauren from Sophie’s Nursery
Éva from Captain Bobcat
Leanne from Anklebiters Adventures
Leyla from Motherhood Diaries
Helen from All the Beautiful Things
Emily from Emily and Indiana
Nita from Mummy Wishes
Becky from 3 Princesses and 1 dude
Kelly-Anne from Mimi-Rose and Me
Emma from Ready Freddie Go
Suzanne from And Another Ten Things
Beth from Twinderelmo
Kelly from School Run Shops
Jade from Raising the Rings
Emma from Island Living 365
Kelly from Let’s go somewhere nice
Kerry from Kerry Shaw mum of four
Danielle from Someone’s Mum
Hannah from Hi Baby Blog