Dinner Excuses

We’ve always been pretty fortunate with food and appetites in this house but it makes me chuckle when you hear a child come out with a cracking reason why they can’t possibly eat their dinner.  As toddlers, Jude went through a phase of refusing anything except beans on toast. He couldn’t talk at the time but would flat out starve unless I produced beans on toast for dinner. This didn’t last too long and overall, he’d eat anything I gave him.

Elsa was a proper chubber of a baby/toddler and had cheeks like a puffer fish but thankfully she loved (and still loves) fruit and vegetables so I never worried about her diet. Same with Jude and Emmeline – I seem to produce children that are part fruit bat in nature.

 

Elsa and Jude aged 2 and 5 munching some pineapple

 

Emmeline was a terrible eater for a long time but now she is nearly two, she seems to have found an appetite at last. Yay!

 

Anyway, I thought it would be funny to compile a list of fantastic reasons children have given for not being able to eat their lunch/dinner. Thanks to everyone who contributed to this:

 

We’ll start off with Elsa as I can’t think of any excuses Jude ever gave and Emmeline isn’t quite at the excuse stage. Sadly, this example was from this year. Yes, Elsa was eight years old when she said she couldn’t eat her cheese toastie (from a cafe) as it was “too cheesy”. I think that was the last time she ever ordered one; she hates the stuff now!

 

Onwards…

 

  • The old classic that every parent can relate to of, offering the wrong coloured plate/bowl/cup/spoon was suggested several times. Arrgghhh Emmeline gets a bit like this some times. She changes each day as to which colour bowl she wants her fruit in.

 

  • “The cheese is the wrong colour. It’s got dirt on it.” (i.e it’s been browned in the oven) How do you even argue with this one?!

 

  • “My legs are full up but my yoghurt will go in my belly.” This at least divulges the hollow leg theory of childhood!

 

  • “I’m saving myself so I have room for pudding.” I have to agree with this one in theory. Saving room for pudding is essential, especially in restaurants.

Then there are the children who try to be smart with their tactics…

 

  • “I can’t eat broccoli as it looks like a tree and you told us not to eat leaves and trees.”
  • “I’m fine. I don’t need to eat my venjtables as I don’t have any germs inside me.”
  • If a child is aware of an allergy like one little smarty pants who refuses to eat anything he doesn’t like the look of in case it has dairy in.
  • When they out-do you entirely such as…

“If you eat these runner beans then they’ll make you run faster.”

“Oh but I don’t need to eat my runner beans,  my new trainers make me run super fast already.”

Arrrgghhhh

 

We mustn’t forget the weird phenomenon that soooo many children are afflicted with. That phobia of TOUCHING FOOD…sorry, I mean TOUCHINGFOOD.

“I can’t eat it, it’s touching!”  Good grief…

 

  • Ever had the feigned illness excuse? “I can’t eat this, I have a headache.”
  • Or…“I’m too tired.” Naturally, tiredness is always cured two seconds later when you allow them out to play again.
  • “I’m too hot.” Most likely angling for an ice cream instead.

 

Using a third party as an excuse…

  • “Bunny doesn’t want to eat it so I can’t eat it either.” I’m sorry, what? No idea how you even come back from this one without looking like an idiot.

OR

  • Another classic of palming food off onto your sibling – “Oh no, it’s babi’s (sisters.) She’s very hungry!”

OR

  • “I can’t eat it because Mylo isn’t eating it.” (brother)

 

Fussiness…

“It’s too spikey.” (Spicy)

“It’s too fizzy.” (Spicy!)

This is also a typical one from Elsa. She doesn’t like spicy food and even now at the age of eight will only use one type of toothpaste because all the others are apparently spicy. Ridiculous.

 

To the completely obscure…

  • “The spiders have taken it!”
  • “My spoon is too cold!”
  • “I’ve got a snotty nose.”

Oh to have a child’s imagination for just a short while!

 

I’ve saved my favourite for last, you’ll probably guess why when you read it.

  • “I can’t eat animals because they all have hearts and I don’t want anyone to eat my heart.” I need to adopt this child into my family right now.

 

 

I would love to hear any corkers from your household.

A x

 

 

 

 

Thank you to the following:

Rebecca from Becster.com

Victoria from Mummy times two

Jade from Raw Childhood

Rebecca from Becster.com

Jodie from Maidenhead Mum 

Amy from The Smallest of Things

Lauren from Sophie’s Nursery

Éva from Captain Bobcat

Leanne from Anklebiters Adventures 

Leyla from Motherhood Diaries

Helen from All the Beautiful Things

Emily from Emily and Indiana

Nita from Mummy Wishes

Becky from 3 Princesses and 1 dude 

Kelly-Anne from Mimi-Rose and Me

Emma from Ready Freddie Go

Suzanne from And Another Ten Things

Beth from Twinderelmo

Kelly from School Run Shops

Jade from Raising the Rings 

Emma from Island Living 365 

Kelly from Let’s go somewhere nice 

Kerry from Kerry Shaw mum of four

Danielle from Someone’s Mum

Hannah from Hi Baby Blog

 

 

 

Accidental Hipster Mum
diaryofanimperfectmum
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Comments

  • emilyandindiana on

    The legs being full up comment made me laugh, aren’t children brilliant? Thanks for including me 🙂

    • admin on

      No worries! Yes, hilarious but incredibly frustrating all at the same time. A x

  • Aleena Brown on

    We have so many! The best yet was when I took Amelia to a coffee shop for some mum/daughter alone time away from the boys (basically because I wanted coffee haha!). She was so excited because I had promised her a chocolate coin when we got there – the SAME chocolate coin she always has – and she threw the almightiest of tantrums because it was………………. too big! What????!!! Haha! Love this #RV&HT

    • admin on

      Ahahaha that’s brilliant. I would love to understand the rationale within their little minds. Thanks for sharing that one. A x

  • ceearrbooknerd on

    I’ve been veggie my whole life, and my mother still had trouble getting me to eat vegetables! 😉 So it’s perfectly normal – if they’re hungry enough, they’ll eat it! Lol. #RVHT

  • Karen Dennis, the next best thing to mummy on

    No matter how small a portion I gave my step son at mealtimes he would always ask do I have to eat all this? That is why I have written a post on fussy eaters #blogginggoodtme@_karendennis

    • admin on

      Oh have you! Yes, I love the workings of a child’s mind…

  • Imperfect Mum (@imperfectmumx) on

    Laughed all the way through think I’ve heard most of these as a mum and teacher. Loved the full legs one. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

  • Accidental Hipster Mum on

    My daughter used to say stuff was fizzy when she meant tangy or spicy! Some of these are cracking!

    #RVHT

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