This morning I attended a transition meeting at Jude’s new school.

 

I love calling it his new school, makes it feel so official!

 

My emotions were running away with me a bit; I think the combination of relief that my fight is over, excitement at being part of something amazing and dread of what sort of transition the school were going to suggest all bubbled around in my brain. Also concerning me was the fact that Jude’s dad would be there. He hasn’t supported me throughout this entire scenario but pops up every so often to play the doting father. I hate being in his company. I hate even looking at him, his mere presence makes me shrivel up into a ball because I remember what he has put me (us) through.

 

But anyway, I was there for one reason and that was to conclude the organisation of Jude starting his wonderful new school. I feel proud that I have done this single handedly, fought a system that attempts to belittle you and hold you at it’s mercy. And I am proud that I have managed to achieve the best case situation for everyone in my family.

 

The decision was made that Jude will start exactly two weeks today (28th) and in the interim will engage in several visits, both during the week day, evening and weekend. His first visit is Monday and I am SO excited to see how he gets on. His teacher was really warm and supportive during the meeting and reiterated what a fantastically relaxed and life skills oriented curriculum they advocate. Jude will be learning how to take care of himself and will thankfully not sense any expectations to sit at a desk and repeatedly complete sums or practice his handwriting which realistically serve his future no useful purpose.

 

They were keen to hear all the details we could possibly think of…what he likes to eat, routines at bedtime and in the morning. Anything he doesn’t like.

 

I told them he is a fridge/freezer raider

 

It made me quite contemplative just thinking of Jude in that amount of depth; I feel quite sad for the young child I used to have, the toddler who loved to laugh and the baby I so longed for. This isn’t how it is meant to be. Every so often I get flashes of panic and realisation that I am sending my child away from home which is the least maternal thing a person could do. As his dad constantly reiterates – I’m pushing Jude away.

But then I look at what he will gain and I just pray it’s the right decision. Deep down I know it is but at the moment I seem to swing from absolute despair at what I’m doing to rapturous elation for the adventures Jude is going to experience.

 

After the meeting, I took several bits and pieces up to Jude’s bedroom in his school house (a radio, new bedding and matching curtains and a fluffy rug so far) and will bring another load of pictures and decorations on Monday when I drop him off for his settling in session.

Jude chose the colours for his bedroom –  light pink (one wall) and light blue (three walls). The school have a decorator who paints all the bedrooms for them which I think is a great personal touch and really welcoming for the children. Elsa helped us design the lay out and she thought it would be nice to hang lots of family photos on the pink wall, facing Jude’s bed so he can always see us.

 

Within the house is a large living room, dining room, activities room which is full of games and toys, sensory objects and comfy seats. Plus the children have access to a private garden which is just for their house plus obviously the outside playgrounds that all the children can enjoy. There is also an indoor pool which Jude is dying to try out, miles of countryside around them and local parks to play in.

 

It’s perfectly idyllic for a young boy who can’t cope with the craziness of the outside world <3 

 

I’ll let you all know how it goes on Monday.

A x

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