Things I’ve learnt

It’s my birthday in a few weeks so I thought I’d write a list of things I’ve learnt throughout my life amounting to the age I’ll be…eeeekk it seems such a grown up number!




  1. You never really know exactly what you’re doing. I always thought that as a “grown up” I’d be so sorted and knowledgeable. Ha!
  2. You only live once so do what makes you happy. Why do we always follow trends and replicate what everyone else does?
  3. There are very few people you can completely rely on in your life. I don’t mean this to sound negative, it’s more a weeding out process as you get older…
  4. Time goes fast and if you’re currently doing something that makes you unhappy, then you need to get out of that situation pronto.
  5. Bad experiences don’t have to be entirely negative. I’ve had quite a lot of crap happen in my life but it’s changed me for the better. I don’t think anything fazes me now, I’m pretty unshockable but equally prominent is my ability to cope.
  6. Don’t feel bad about saying NO sometimes. No to work, no to going out, no to the healthy option.
  7. Children are mini dictators.
  8. Two year olds could pretty much rule the world, they seem to think they know everything.
  9. Nine year olds are the new teenager. Elsa can be VICIOUS at times but then the sweetest little thing five minutes later. Joy.
  10. I’ve learnt to love sleep. I hated sleep for the first twenty five years of my life but then came along Jude and suddenly the hours I slept weren’t decided by me anymore. I think Emmeline and her shockingly bad sleeping habits are payback for all those years of 5am ¬†wake up calls I gave my mum and dad.
  11. The world is a really big place and you only have one chance to see as much as possible. I have a few places I’d love to visit this year, even if it’s just for the weekend. I have a weirdly strong desire to visit the Netherlands plus we’re hopefully going to Ibiza in the spring. I’d love to visit Asia at some point as culturally it’s so different to what I’m used to.
  12. Television is a waste of time. Maybe I’m just getting old in my views but I really think tv is utter garbage these days…
  13. Learning isn’t something only children can do. I love learning. There are so many things I want to study and understand.
  14. I’ve learnt that having a son like Jude heightens your senses. I’m incredibly aware of my environment when I’m out with Jude. Possible dangers, possible allies, I can spot people to avoid, those who may agitate him. It’s like I suddenly turn into this all seeing ninja with eyes in all directions.
  15. Not just your senses though. Similar to point number 3 above, Jude being Jude helps weed out the good and bad from our life pretty well. He’s nearly twelve years old and for the first time ever I feel confident that we have the best team in his life. School staff, house support staff, his lovely Faye the Support Worker who takes him out fortnightly for a few hours. Then obviously his immediate family who take so much interest in his life – myself, Joe, his sisters and Granny/Grandad. He is loved and loves in equal measures.
  16. I’ve learnt that people take sides and judge you before even asking your opinion. Certain people will leave your life and others will come and go but if your life feels better because of it then their judgement immediately means nothing to you.
  17. And following 16…Don’t act on a judgement until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes. I’ve always disliked that phrase but it’s so true. No-one ever knows what’s going on in a situation unless they’ve lived it.
  18. It’s important to help people. Helping others inevitably helps you too.
  19. I need to learn to take better care of myself. This evening, I tried to work out the last time I had a bit of time to myself and I honestly can’t remember. Joe and I went out one night in New York but since then I’ve either been working or with the children. I feel so frazzled, it’s not good. I really shouldn’t put this in my list of things I’ve learnt as clearly I haven’t really learnt it but good intentions and all that. I miss the gym, I’m jealous of all those people who meet friends for coffee or lunch. I need to make it happen just sometimes.
  20. Chocolate cake is the answer to many questions.
  21. So is tea and biscuits.
  22. I’ve learnt that school taught me very little. I think this is probably largely my fault as I was so shy, lost, didn’t know what I was meant to be doing and didn’t try particularly hard. I’m so pleased that Elsa embraces opportunities a lot more than I did.
  23. How we view life inevitably determines our experiences. The law of attraction is something I love to consider as a reality; I really think that good energy magnetically attracts good energy.
  24. I’ve learnt that humans have so much power but sadly, I don’t think we are using this power for good. Our planet is a mess.
  25. Another not quite learnt but want to force it into my mind point…I’ve learnt (!) that people care. I’ve (not quite) learnt that people genuinely want to know I’m ok and are happy to listen if I ever need them. I’ve always hated being a burden, I still apologise too much and open sentences with “Oh I don’t want to bore you…” but it’s not a bad thing to sometimes talk.
  26. I’ve learnt that it’s ok to not know what you want to be when you grow up. I’m still waiting for the moment of clarity…
  27. I prefer animals to people.
  28. I totally have a favourite child but it changes pretty much every day.
  29. You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Like fitness. I used to have that but it slunk off somewhere back in 2015…
  30. Holding a grudge only brings you down. I try to focus on my own life and the important things around me rather than wasting my precious few brain cells contemplating insignificants.
  31. I’ve learnt that yes, I really do have gangly arms and legs and my previously given nickname of Purple Ronnie was pretty accurate.
  32. Through my years of fighting for Jude’s needs and the children’s rights in general I’ve learnt that I’m a good speaker. I don’t feel intimidated by anyone and that’s only thanks to experience. Experience teaches you more than formal education. I’d actually now like to study for a Masters in Human Rights law and help families with special needs children who are battling legal situations. Not sure it’s possible but it’s my latest dream…
  33. I don’t believe in keeping things for “good” or waiting for the perfect moment. What’s the point? No-one knows how long they really have so drink that expensive wine and do something fun over boring chores whenever you can.
  34. I’m really selective as to who I let influence me these days. Negative people drain you of energy, only surround yourself with good vibes.
  35. Women are sorely misrepresented in all aspects of life. I’d like everyone reading this to go off and research an important woman in history – maybe a scientist, political figure or writer. Ava Lovelace or Mary Wollstonecraft anyone?
  36. Gripping onto 36…
  37. I’ve learnt that money certainly doesn’t buy you happiness. So so many examples of this but close to home, I’ve realised that sometimes those that have money only have it because they don’t share it.

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