Have I made a mistake?



I’ve made a massive error. Thinking about it, I can’t believe how stupid I have been. When I was looking around this lovely school for Jude, I think I drifted away in the idyllic notion of Jude participating in all their fantastic activities, sitting in a classroom and hanging out with his new friends. Did I temporarily lose my mind or merely over-exaggerate my  dreams for Jude as a soon to be teenage boy?


Anyway, day three at his new school and that feeling of dread has set in. He was only there for a few hours today but it was a disaster. During the sensory circuit time (think of a sensorial motivated circuit class!) he was perfectly fine because it involves running around and largely being to move however you want. But when it came to classroom time he just couldn’t cope and ended up being taken to the playground so as not to totally melt down but also so he didn’t entirely disrupt the rest of his class.


I feel such a fool. I immediately called my SEN Officer and she suggested I call I meeting with the school, herself and my social worker so we can discuss the best options for Jude. If the school doesn’t feel they can meet his needs (I’d be stunned if they say they can) then we will need to look at other options. A friend of mine recommended the school her son attends as he isn’t confined to a class based situation, the education is predominantly therapeutic and there aren’t necessary expectations set on each individual. Jude needs this. He doesn’t need a time table he’s required to follow or a reading record (he can’t read) neither does he need any confusing academic lessons. Jude needs to be taught how to function as a human being. He needs to learn how to make lunch, spend money in a shop, basically how to look after himself and it’s up to me to find the place that will do all of this for him.


It’s so damn hard. And as a fall out, I now have to deal with a very confused Jude who doesn’t know if he’s coming or going. This is partly because of his current “settling in” process which means he does a few hours each day, gradually increasing as the week goes on but also partly because when he feels uncomfortable he panics and therefore his default disruptive setting kicks in. He has coped pretty well with his new bus driver and that part of the day but seeing as the journey is maybe 10 minutes max, this shouldn’t be too hard.


I want to make it clear that I absolutely love this school and if it fitted with Jude then I’d be so so happy. The staff seem lovely, the grounds are beautiful and their motivations are purely for the children. I love it but I don’t think it’s right. Obviously, I may be wrong but I have a hunch and they generally aren’t wrong.


I’m aghast with worry. We will have to give this school a go as we need focal evidence that it’s either working or not and three days experience isn’t viable enough.





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